My Death in Life

The interns, Pastor Russ, and Dr. j

During the week of March 19-26th I went on a trip with my fellow interns and pastor to Chicago.  The idea of the trip was similar to what was experienced previously on the Urban Plunge (see Urban Plunge 2012 Reflections).  We were going to Chicago to visit various ministries, church plants, churches, and non-profit organizations to see what the needs of the city were (and how to find that information) and how the needs were being met.  Details of the trip were not known before we left.  We knew that we were going to Chicago and that we would be traveling around town but we had no idea to what areas and ministries until the day of, sometimes even right before we got there.

Instead of writing down a brief schedule and description of the entire trip, I thought I would share with you what I've been processing since then and the parts of the trip that contributed.  Before the trip started I had just started thinking about the differences in theology and how people can come to different philosophical conclusions based on the context of study.  For example, a person who is studying theology in a library without contact with anyone will come to different conclusions than a person who has no access to books and is only working in certain ministries.  I know these are extremes, but it is interesting to see how action affects thinking.

In line with my thoughts on this before the trip our host for most of the trip was a professor at Moody Graduate School- Dr. Julius Wong Loi Sing.  I cannot describe to you how helpful and entertaining it was to have him a part of the group.  He was in and out of our activities because he had other meetings and classes, but when he was with us his sense of humor and his knowledge kept us on our toes.  In a small way he was an interesting peg on the spectrum mentioned earlier.  He was a professor for the graduate school yet he was our connection to all of these on-the-ground ministries and he knew all about them.  He also gave some interesting insight to the direction that Moody Bible Institute has been taking recently in terms of the academic and the practical.

Meeting Dr. J was our first stop which took us to Moody.  We had a little time to walk around and see the D.L. Moody museum that the school has.  This added more food for my thoughts.  Moody was known for being a little more on the charismatic side, a little more on the Armenianist side, and relatively uneducated.  But his school, now some 125+ years later now leans more fundamentalist and Calvinist as it has further become a celebrated educational institute.  Is this due to a theological trend or swing?  Or could it be that when the focus turns to theological education more than evangelism or practical theology we see these changes?

Let me be clear, I'm not saying that D.L. Moody would be disappointed with where we are now.  He might have known that this would happen and actually wanted this for future ministers.  Or maybe he just wanted sound biblical training, uncaring of theological bias, and this is what history has brought us too.  Honestly, I have not done in-depth study of Moody or the school, but this is what I have picked up from fellow students who have done more research than I.

After seeing Moody a bit (something I have done before) and meeting Dr. J, we began to have busy days running around Chicago visiting different kinds of ministries and meeting different people.  The thing that everyone that we met with had in common was passion for the work of God to be done in their context.  We met Sarah who works for an after school program in Cabrini Green called By the Hand.  She is a single woman originally from Kentucky who sought to work in one of the more difficult places in Chicago.  She gave her life to this ministry, so much so that she adopted a couple of young boys who had a more extreme family situation.

We visited another after school program that was in Cabrini Green, but since the gentrification of the area, they moved to south Chicago to help out that area.  The after school program helps kids in the poor Chicago Public School system aspire to do better than their environment often equips them for.  When we were there the program was celebrating that one of its eighth graders recently tested well enough to go to a sponsored school- which is much better than continuing on in the public schools.  It was a really rewarding experience because we got to hang out and help some of the kids in the program.  These were some of the wittiest, funniest kids that I have ever met.  I didn't realize how my west coast inspired style would not translate to south Chicago.  I had a lot of the kids gawk and ask me about my plugs, long hair, and tattoo... which they would then continue to laugh at.  But it was cool how that was an easy ice breaker which allowed us to enjoy helping the kids do their homework, read, have a brief bible lesson, and then, of course, play some dodgeball.

Briefly, for those who are unfamiliar with gentrification what I learned from the trip is that it is the reversal of the "white flight".  In history there was the movement of affluent people out of the downtown city areas to the suburbs to escape some of the downtown culture that was being created by the pull of industry.  But recently culture has turned its eye back on cities as they are becoming less of a focus of huge manufacturing plants and other factories and more of focus for rising businesses.  Gentrification is the term of the affluent coming back to the cities, relocating government issued housing, and spending a ton of money in making those once run down areas into trendy, urban places friendly for tourists and upper middle aged business people.  If I seem to be presenting this in a positive or negative light, I do not mean too.  I am, rightfully or wrongfully, taking the perspective of unbiased, objective history. It has both positive and negative effects on different groups of people.  Until one becomes intimate with the context and issue, it is hard to know what the right and best course of action is.

One of the other more unique experiences that we had was we witnessed a very different discipleship group.  This was probably one of the most directly intellectually stimulating times of the trip.  We were with very intelligent people who were very aware of culture and Christianity.  They had taken "life together" to the next level.  From what I gathered they at least met once a week to share a meal and catch up in their group which was around 8-10ish people (which they considered was getting "too big"), but they also made it a point to get involved in each others lives out side of the group and talked about meeting regularly outside in one on one or smaller group situations.  They would do everything from just getting coffee to talk or going to see a movie.  They were intentional about speaking into what was occurring in each others lives whether it was big things like general life direction or smaller situations that happened at work, school, or in their families.

What was unclear about this group was whether or not they considered themselves a church and I believe this is where the tension for some in our group lied.  This is where all my study of eccliesology would come into play.  Encountering this group led to questions such as; "what is necessary for a church?", "what is the church?", "what is required from the church?".  Some of them did also attend a gathering of believers on Sunday, some did not.  When I asked the organizer of this discipleship program (that is occurring in different areas of the U.S. as well as a group overseas I believe) about the history and development of this... thing for lack of a better word he gave a brief personal history of his work as a senior pastor of a couple churches.  When trying to bring a similar discipleship program into the church it was evidently like oil and water, it ended up making a group that were in the discipleship primarily and a group primarily going to church.  I regret not having more time to talk with him more and find out why he thinks that was the situation, but it is a talk for the future.

This brings a lot of pertinent questions in Christianity today.  People are becoming nervous of things like the New Perspective on Paul and the influence it has on theological and church movements such as the emerging and emergent church.  I believe we need to realize that we have a great debt to our history but we also have a great responsibility to our future and we need to bring those two together when discussing the appropriateness in our action as Christians.  What is necessary for a church?  How far should we stretch people in certain spiritual disciplines?  How important are certain forms of worship over others?  How much of preference (theological and practical) plays into our distinctions?  Can we maintain minor distinctions and also our unity as the Universal Church?  People have struggled and are struggling with these questions.  Do not feel overwhelmed.  Pray and humbly seek God's word and wise counsel because if history has anything to say we probably won't get it perfect in our generation either.

On Sunday we went to six or seven different churches. We visited four "high" churches (Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, Pentecostal, and Greek Orthodox) and some "low" churches that were in various areas of Chicago.  Being in different buildings and witnessing the various different forms of worship was an awesome experience.  If you have not done something like that where you live, I strongly suggest that you do so.

Overall the trip was extremely useful.  I engaged in thoughts that I will continue to wrestle with for my foreseeable future and also got to meet a ton of passionate people filling a need that God has burdened on their heart.  I just would like to thank those that gave me support for going on this trip and the professors that gave understanding for the missed classes.  I hope this gave you some things to think about.  Please feel free to contact me or leave a comment to talk more about the things discussed here.  I am very much a fan of learning as a conversation.

To those who read this all and are praying for me and others mentioned in this post, God bless.

The past couple days Moody Bible Institute- Spokane hosted its annual missions conference.  I have to say in the past 8 or 9 years that I have been able to go to missions conferences (or forced by my parents/school... another blog for another time), this was the best experience I had.  The speaker was entertaining and got his big idea across and the seminars were insightful, at least the ones I visited.  But it once again got me thinking about missions today-- What is the most frequent type?  What does missions look like with today's advances in technology and education?  What is most people's experience with missions?  What do most of these agencies actually want from us?

All of these questions led me to something that I hold dear to my heart but I also something that I have a burning in my heart against.  I am a cynic of Short Term missions.  And it is not because I read blogs or posts and base an opinion on those because it is the hip thing to do in contemporary bible school to hate short term missions.  It is because I've been on short terms missions trips.   But before I tell you why I am a cynic of short term missions (or STM from here on out) let me throw some stats your way.

In 2008, The Barna Group did a survey of STM trips.  Because the Barna group only interviewed the Americans that went on the trips, the data collected was from the perspective of the person going on STMs.  Despite my view on STM, this data is encouraging for it shows the eagerness of people willing to go out and serve outside of their comfort zone for at least a little while.


Who takes short term mission trips?

• 9% of American adults
  >> only 3.5% of American adults went in the last 5 years
• 11% of churchgoers
• 23% evangelical Christians
• 12% of Mosaics (ages 18-24)
• 9% of Busters (ages 25-43)
• 7% of Boomers (ages 44-62)
• 9% of Elders (ages 63+)

How do short-term mission trips affect those who go?

• 75% say the experience changed their life in some way
• 25% say it helped them become more aware of other people’s struggles
• 16% say it taught them more about poverty, justice, or the world
• 11% say it increased their compassion
• 9% say it enriched their faith
• 9% say it broadened their spiritual understanding
• 5% say it boosted their financial generosity  

[qtd in "The Truth About Short Term Missions" here]

With these stats I just wanted to show the benefit to those who go to them and to make a point that maybe STM are more about exposure of people to the cultures and situations that happen outside of their own church experience, rather than (greater) benefiting the people they go to serve.  Don't get me wrong, there are ways that STM is done well, mostly when the agency or church has a continued presence in the area they choose to do STMs in.  But for the most part, the greater impact happens on those who go rather than those who receive.  Whether this is true across the boards in missions is debatable, but in the area of short term missions the tension is clearer.

In an issue of Hard Music Magazine (HM), the front man of the Christian band Showbread, Josh Porter (Josh Dies, stage name), wrote an article on his reflection from a short term missions trip.  He talks about the experience of raising the money as the band toured and then being able to go and help out an orphanage.  But the thing that Porter emphasized was the debriefing at the end of the trip with the pastor that hosted the group throughout the missions trip.  The pastor had in some way made a statement about the cost of bringing the entire group down there and what that money could have been used for, but having them their to help was just as much of a joy to him.  But what Porter seemed to take away was the question of where is the line in going on trip versus truly helping the people?

That, I believe, is the question that is all too forgotten before we embark on missions trips.  We lack true reflection on whether we are actually helping-- are our missions trips truly acts of love and goodwill towards others?  This question is not an easy one.  To explain why I am a cynic and why this is a hard subject let me tell you a story.

The church that I went to in jr. high and high school was a part of this STM called Rosebud (now The Lakota Journey) that goes into the Lakota reservation in South Dakota and helps out the community there (to give you some background information, this reservation covers the two poorest counties in the United States.  It is also the Native American group descended from the people talked about in the book I Buried My Heart at Wounded Knee, which I would suggest reading).  We partner with a church and we do service for the neighborhood and congregants during the day and then in the evenings we gather all the kids we can and have kids club.  This was something our church did every summer and we had made relationships with the church and all the kids that went.  Many of us in the youth group would try to remain in contact with the kids by writing letters throughout the rest of the year.  It was a great experience and some of my greatest memories will be from that reservation in South Dakota.

Most of our youth group was connected to the biggest church in this town and would hold a kids club that would host 100+ kids the five nights it was open.  But I was a part of a small team that would drive further out into the middle of nowhere to this small community called Horse Creek.  It was so much better than the other group, but I'm a little biased.  We were able to drive in and set up for our meeting, but then we would personally walk around the big oval that made up the entire community and personally pick up every kid for kids club.  We got really close to all of the kids, which is the case for most people in situations like these, but I feel like ours was special.  There was one girl in particular that I got close to.  Her name is Yvonne.  The first year we went to Horse Creek she was 5 years old.  She would always ask to ride on my shoulders, she would hold on to my leg as I spoke to the whole group, she would hide behind me when had our water balloon fights, she told me about how her home was, she told me about things I didn't know 5 year old girls experienced.  I told her about Jesus and the safety and comfort that He could bring even though things were hard and didn't make sense.  It was always hard leaving at the end of the week and there were always tears on both sides, but it made those reunions the next year greater.  And it was strange how we were able to pick up right where we left off and get deeper and deeper into these kids lives.  That's what made it special.

My senior year rolled around and as we were prepping for the trip, the group that went to Horse Creek was pulled aside and told some hard news.  There was a smaller church that was joining the organization and they wanted us to take this year to integrate their group into taking over the kids club at Horse Creek-- this was our last year there.  I can't find words that would justly emulate the feelings for you here.  Not only was it going to be hard realizing that this was my senior year, meaning it would be harder to go on the trip anyway with the demands of college, but even if I went back I would not be going back to Horse Creek, to Yvonne.

When we pulled in the first day there was a surreal feeling hovering over our heads and that was before it hit us that we would have to tell these kids that this was our last year with them.  When we were walking around to pick up the kids we got to Yvonne's door.  I knocked like I had so many times before and there she came to the door, a few inches taller but the same as I remembered.  She threw open the door, almost hitting me, and then flew into my arms, almost taking me down.  We met up with the rest of the group walking around the circle.  Like every other time, she got up on my shoulders and I asked her how her year was, "It was good, but I missed you."  That was her first words to me.  That is how she summed up her year.  She missed me.

The last night that we were on the reservation our entire youth group met to debrief before we met for our nightly gathering with the other churches participating in the missions trip.  As normal, many tears were shed for having to leave this community that we love again, but as you can imagine there were six of us who were shedding more tears than normal.  It was then and there that I confronted a thought in me-- if the best way for these kids to get closer to God and create a more solid relationship with Him was without me, I'd hope that they would forget me altogether to leave more room for Christ.  The sorrow that I felt in having to leave Yvonne should not matter compared to what the Lord wills for both of us.

Here's the big idea-  I want to be a blessing and more of a help on my missions trips.  I do not want to be there if it would be more valuable for that people to send money instead.  I think our care for people can be questioned if we are not there truly for the people.  Are STMs truly caring for the people?  Is that the truest way to show God's love to that people?  In some cases, maybe.  But I'm urging you to ask the questions.   I sit here and I ask questions and take a painstaking critical eye to missions because I want to love the best I can.

So yes, I am a cynic of missions and specifically STMs.  And you can look at cynical me and shake your head and say in your head that I don't get it.  But I'm a cynic for Yvonne.  Because this is the best I can do for her, and all of those she represents, now.  So I will continue to do it.